Jon Turtletaub
1992
Grade: D
The tag for this movie touts it as a cross between “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Home Alone” and honestly that might have been the entirety of the pitch meeting. Everything from the goofy and inept home invaders to the theme summarizing pure 90s rap that plays over the credits shows the DNA that was inherited from those two titanic pop culture ancestors. Now simply wearing one’s influences openly does not necessarily mean a film was photocopied, and I think there’s enough unique identity to more rightly categorize this as a descendant than a shallow clone. What was fascinating to learn as an adult is that this is an early entry from Jon Turtletaub, who is probably best known for works like National Treasure and Phenomenon but earned my regard with one of the great romantic comedies of all time, While You Were Sleeping (safely ensconced on the top 100 at 91 even though the list is a year or two overdue for revision).
Surprisingly, the movie has more than one moving piece. In what can be described as a piece of narrative jazz, the protagonists, our titular ninjas, are not directly involved in the narrative and are altogether subsidiary to its flow. The main plot revolves around an intrepid FBI agent and distracted father of three, Samuel Douglas(McRae), and his search for notorious arms dealer, ninja, and ex-business partner of Mori Tanka(Wang), Hugo Snyder(Kingsley). In another movie, the father would have been played by a medium clout action star, the violence would have been played straight, and the children would have been played at best as boy wonder hostage macguffins and at worst as glorified set dressing. Instead, what we have is an enticingly off-center story about three adorable side characters that fight for their place in someone else’s story. And just as that last sentence leaves the fingers I’ve noticed that there’s a wonderful symmetry to the theme of the movie.
From the outset, the plot tries to shuffle the boys into the background as their grandfather, Mori Tanaka(Wang), tells them to stay in the house as he goes out to confront Snyder who has come to intimidate/threaten his ex-partner into either calling off his zealous son-in-law or to train his men. Furthermore, their father dismisses their passion as irrelevant distraction. Colt(Max Elliot Slade) and his brother Rockey(Michael Treanor), almost as a means of wresting the reigns of the narrative away from the powers around them, resist calling for help when the kidnappers appear believing that “If [they] can take [the] three robbers [themselves]”(44:33) then it will prove the value of their training to their father. I’m really captivated by this thought, it’s almost as though this movie has something to say about how children don’t feel like the main characters in their own stories and constantly need to justify themselves to the adults in their lives. It makes it all the more poignant that the boys are relegated to the role of spectators during the climax.
Now this is not the type of light-hearted viewing that sympathizes with the movie’s goals, so it’s past time I visit it where it lives. To that end, a discussion must be had about physical comedy. There are a few heroes, sung and unsung, here, and for the former I would like to mention the standout from the Stooge-like trio, D.J. Harder’s Marcus. The timing, narrative, set-up, and pay-off, for his running “hit-to-the-nose” gags are classically drawn and genuinely funny, and so is his sibling-like relationship with his co-conspirators. In the unsung camp are the ninja stunt actors whose task it is to effectively sell the punches and kicks of a six year old ninja. Though there are a few instances where short arms and short legs (mandated by the film’s premise) lead to awkward angles and forced positioning, there are more than a few high quality falls and sells that help, to the extent that it is possible, the audience suspend its disbelief in regard to the capabilities of pre-teen ninjas.
It also wouldn’t do to discuss a ninja movie without covering the fights themselves, and these come in two varieties; cartoonish involving the boys, or straight when involving Grandpa (or rather his poorly disguised stunt double). The fights involving the boys are largely played for laughs and with substantial support from both the score and sound effects. The film is very careful to avoid any sincerity in the peril the children are in, and I suspect that was in deference to parents and rating agencies whose bad opinion could be the death knell for any movie designed for a child audience released in the 90s. The boys are grabbed, pushed, or lightly rolled across a well padded floor but certainly never struck. The boys do well and demonstrate more than a passing familiarity with martial arts.
In contrast, the opening fight between Grandpa and the ninjas and the climactic confrontation with Snyder that bookend the film are painted in more traditional colors. The shooting style, music, and performance of these fights are altogether more sincere with more than a few exceptional moments that would have shone even in a martial arts movie with a loftier pedigree. I’ll highlight two moments. The first is the wonderful choice of an oblique low angle shot of Grandpa’s shuffling steps before a leaping back spin kick.
The camera, the fluidity of the movement, and the wonderfully period appropriate and perfectly timed electric guitar riff really add pop to this moment. I would prefer perhaps one fewer cut on the kick itself as it was so wonderfully executed, but I suspect the filmmakers were doing everything they could to disguise the presence of the stunt performer. The second is during the climax.
Even as a child I was impressed by the movie magic of that thrown sword, but that wide shot of Snyder’s reaction is borderline iconic, and I’ll go as far as saying this really is a well choreographed and executed fight and forgotten gem of a filmed martial arts scene.
As an eight year old martial arts practitioner, it was not possible for me to dislike this movie when it came out. In fact it was so influential that I tried to get my friends Ronald and Ben to let us adopt the nicknames Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum(it didn’t take). Coming back to it as an adult I’m extremely happy to report that despite its flaws there really is a fun little movie here. The script does not ask for much in the way of performance, but Kingsley’s Snyder is a pitch perfect classic bad guy, and the boys feel like real siblings (hardly a given with child actors) and have natural dialogue. It’s hard to believe I’ve been saying, “Shut up, spaz” since August of 1992.
The movie does rely on tried and true conventions such as the overworked and inattentive father, school yard bullies, and generic villainy for its own sake. It clearly struggles to exist during a time when the conversation about violence in children’s entertainment was forcing movies with dozens of swords and hundreds of guns to make sure no one gets seriously hurt. And if someone is to be shot it is to be limited to a bloodless arm wound in the finale. However, there’s never any harm in a simple and entertaining child power fantasy, and, unlike many other such fantasies, these boys earned their adult vanquishing punches and kicks by no other magic than their own hard work and dedication, discipline and effort. There are many a worse message in the world of children’s entertainment today. Fun from beginning to end, smiling and laughing the whole way.
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