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Never Been Kissed

Raja Gosnell

1999

Grade: B


This movie has many performances that help to hold it together and give it a charm all of its own, but, from the outset, its success or failure was going to rest almost exclusively on its lead. I’m very pleased to say that Drew Barrymore is more than equal to that task, and what can be found here is an extremely enjoyable and quite adorable little comedy. Is the premise novel? No. Are Drew Barrymore and David Arquette believable high school seniors? No. However, variations on a theme of the return to high school are as recurring as dreams of flight and just as welcome so long as either the manner or the method brings a little life to the trope, and it would be far from healthy to hold one’s breath for age appropriate teenage casting in film. 

It is perhaps necessary to discuss the field of landmines amid which this narrative has chosen to set its foundation. Whenever a story adopts the mechanic of sending adults incognito in among the children, a film must, if it hopes to retain the good opinion of its audience, do its best to disincline that audience to consider seriously the premise. Let’s face it, the proper response to finding out that twenty-five year olds are infiltrating our high schools and going to parties and proms with the students they find there is horror. This movie avoids these implications in a number of ways. The first is the aforementioned casting which makes laughable the notion that anyone would mistake these adults for teenagers. The second, as society is more forgiving of one flavor of this scenario than another, is by making the prime spying agent female (and as awkward and sexually non-threatening as possible for good measure). Lastly, is a veil of innocence draped over the whole production. This veil is the product of a combination of lighting, shot selection, score, character, and (believe it or not) restraint which should be credited to the director, Gosnell. In effect, the movie proposes a beneficial-to-both-parties deal to its audience; if the audience will suspend its disbelief the film will leave room for Jesus.

The one place where it plays more dangerously with its premise is in the character of the charismatic Shakespeare teacher, Sam Coulson(Michael Vartan). Coulson’s brand of education includes frequenting night-life venues with his students, discussing his personal life with his students, and riding the ferris wheel with his students. The redundancy of the previous sentence is a reflection of the mild distaste of the viewer much more so than that of the film as the latter makes great effort to soften the implications of the above for the sake of the climax. The overall innocence of the film mitigates the effect of these moments as does the sincerity with which Vartan plays them. One might almost be forgiven for mistaking this student/teacher relationship as the product of a bygone age when the world had not, by dint of experience, become so suspicious of such things. However, this is all spent ink on a topic which the movie has asked us to be forgiving and upon which it is not generous to linger.

  The cast of this movie cries out for attention and in a few areas even commendation. Secretly stacked, this sleeper line-up includes John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, Garry Marshall, Octavia Spencer, James Franco, Leelee Sobieski, and Jessica Alba(who earned her adoration as early as 1994 for her small role in The Secret World of Alex Mack). Worth particular mention are Reilly’s Gus and Shannon’s Anita who, as cynical and perhaps even a little jaded world weary adults, are gradually softened by Josie’s(Barrymore) open heartedness and poetry of thought. 

With one exception, the narrative is tightly knit and progresses well both with regard to plot and character. The audience is treated to Josie’s early struggles as she instinctively falls into the same social strata she inhabited in high school through, with the aid of her brother, her advent into the heights of social standing that had been the dream of her own tragic experience. Everything about this process is endearing if perhaps figuratively drawn as the lengths to which the costuming, make-up, and performance go to reinforce Josie’s social awkwardness are perhaps a hair’s breadth away from caricature. The real weakness, if there should be said to be one, is the by-the-way nature of the climax. Josie saves Aldys(Sobieski) from a cruel prank by the popular kids (about whom the film seems to struggle in having a firm opinion) and proceeds to spontaneously confess her subterfuge before launching into a tirade about all the things the kids aren’t appreciating about their high school lives-ultimately this comes across as a confession rather than an accusation and as such it is quite impactful. 

Taken as it is, there is little about this movie that is not entertaining, and that is a thing that cannot be said for many a more well-regarded film. The characters endearing, the emotions universal, the message timeless, and it would be the hardest of hearts that remained closed after the thunderous first drum beats of “Don’t Worry Baby” launch the film into the iconic kiss and fade to black that made film romance so famous. A welcome watch for anyone who enjoys a laugh with their love story.


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